Phenobarbital

from by The Pawners' Society

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lyrics

Is there any way at all?
(I’m not going to)
To wipe my memory clean
(Hold my breath)
I’ll take anyone
(Or hope on a star)
Who says I’m less than none
(Not like I used to do)
Look inside and all you’ll see
(When I was like you)
I am not worth ravaging
(I’m not going to)

For anything past not-at-all
I’ll take phenobarbital
I have no use for memory
But still I can’t help remembering

Losing all my teeth
(I’m not going to)
But I was still a thief
(Hold my breath)
Once I had all I could take
(Or hope on a star)
I turned it into mud
(Not like I used to do)
I’m not scared but I’m trembling
(When I was like you)
I’m not cold but I’m shivering
(I’m not going to)

I’m a feral animal
In a masochistic ritual
It was all inside of me
Take it back get rid of me

I was never cursed
But I had nothing left
I had what I started with
I was home and sick and dressed
Everyone was right
But I wasn’t quite
And I couldn’t see
Without wood and light

For anything past not-at-all
(I’m not going to)
I’ll take phenobarbital
(Hold my breath)
I’m not scared but I’m trembling
(Or hope on a star)
I’m not cold but I’m shivering
(I’m not going to)
I’m not sold but I’m interested
(Hold my breath)
I’m not old but I’m withering
(Or hope on a star)
I’m not there but I’m listening
(Not like I used to do)
I’m not loud but I’m deafening
(When I was like you)

I’m not hurt but I’m hemorrhaging
I’m not done but I’m surrendering

credits

from Pull the String, released June 1, 2014

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about

The Pawners' Society Chicago, Illinois

Stephanie Morris and John Huston began playing together in 2007. By early 2009 they had an EP ("Pull the String") recorded, mixed, mastered and awaiting the completion of the artwork when Stephanie died. Those songs -- and other unfinished demos -- laid dormant for five years. They deserve to be heard. ... more

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